


Eureka

by BleedingCoffee



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Bravoc, F/M, Gen, Modern AU, Royai - Freeform, Royai married and working together au, also implied in a sexual way, behold yet another AU that has just a hit of the series it's about, eureka au, lots of not safe for work in an OSHA kinda way, mystery and problem solving and references to canon material, people from games and every series and novels -oh my, trope bingo more than likely, with a huge spoonful of sci-fi shitpost science
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-11 21:10:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17454386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleedingCoffee/pseuds/BleedingCoffee
Summary: Royai Eureka AU. Eureka is a small town of scientific geniuses working for an advanced research organization funded by the government. The company is run by Roy Mustang, genius and scientist, and the town protected by decorated soldier and Sheriff Riza Hawkeye. Together they save the town from threats from outside and within.





	1. A Town Called Eureka

**AN:**  An AU I started on Tumblr that I told myself would  _not_  become a WIP because I could finish it in one weekend. Well I made a gross underestimation of how much fun I would have with this fic and it has shot past the 20k mark I allowed for it and into a "This is just the pilot episode of a AU universe I would like to play in more often". So the time has come to officially start editing and posting chapters. This has purely been a 'make-it-up-as-I go' story, which is honestly most of what I write. Hello and welcome to another installment of "I don't need another WIP, but here we are."

Eureka was an amazing show on SyFy that ended back in 2012. This story just borrows that premise and runs off with it. Like I usually do.

 **Summary** : Royai Eureka AU. Eureka is a small, closely-guarded secret town of scientific geniuses working for an advanced research organization funded by the government. The company is run by Roy Mustang, genius and scientist, and the town protected by decorated soldier and Sheriff Riza Hawkeye. Together they save the town from threats from outside and within; as some scientific breakthroughs do not always go as planned in the test stages and the government eagerly awaits the incredible discoveries created there with their funding.

* * *

_Eureka_

Chapter 1

**A Town Called Eureka**

* * *

Riza Hawkeye watched with guarded interest as a handful senators and military higher-ups tried to interact with the scientists at this impromptu party Roy Mustang had thrown together in the lobby of Alkahest Industries. Eyes were glazed over as geniuses with tablets displayed incredible scientific breakthroughs but the visitors were enthusiastic none-the-less. To offset, or perhaps compliment, the scene there were small incredibly advanced research robots roaming the foyer with trays glued to them so they could deliver drinks and snacks. She understood why this was necessary, funding was in jeopardy as always, but she didn't understand why an unfathomable genius couldn't used his  _goddamned_  phone to give them more than three hours notice this was going to happen.

Roy, said unfathomable genius, smiled and lead his group of important government officials around the room. He purposely directed them away from scientists like Edward Elric who would instantly seize the chance to declare science was for the people not the military. Roy had been in the capital for budget meetings, trying to prove to that this little town few of them had heard of was the epicenter of technology and needed to remain funded. Weapons, medicine, electronics, space technology...all was on display here by the country's best minds to prove to these individuals that Eureka was a vital asset to the country. Every technological breakthrough the country had in the last fifty years, happened in _this_ building.

Eureka, a town that was on nobody's map and nobody's radar by design. A town founded decades ago by geniuses who wanted to remove the pressures of the outside world from interfering with research while also providing it's occupants with safety and resources. Any products created here were distributed through a corporation known as Alkahest Industries and that was the name on the building right above the company logo-an ouroboros. It was also proudly displayed in the lobby on a background of brick facade that used to be the original research facility. It was something a few senators couldn't help but stop and stare at, being this was being sold to them as a massive scientific authority in the world that they never heard of.

Roy, of course, was quick to explain with his charming smile and smooth confident voice.

"Alkahest Industries and it's logo are homage to alchemy of the old days" Roy looked up at the gold letters and logo adorning the walls of the lobby. "Alkahest, a term alchemists used to use to denote a universal solvent, is a not so subtle way of saying this facility is capable of solving any problem. The Ouroboros, a symbol of the duality of existence; symbolizing how science tries to balance between moral and immoral. It's also a reminder of the cycle of birth and death and reminder of the  _infinite_  possibilities we have at our fingertips."

The party of officials seemed impressed, it hit on a lot of corporate buzz words that typically reassured investors. Riza watched them as they moved en masse to the next exhibit he wanted to wow them with. Roy wasn't lying. It was a genuine mission statement of AI, as the employees liked to refer to it. Eureka was a company town in that respect; occupied by the scientist who worked here and their families and a handful of people, like herself, who were unaffiliated with the facility to keep a balance of power. Overall they all reported to the Department of Defense, but Eureka remained mostly a secret to keep everything and everyone safe. Isolation also meant that these important people touring the facility had no idea the routine mishaps that occurred because experiments often went horribly,  _horribly_  wrong.

The truth was: scientists could be complete fucking idiots.

That was where she came in. Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye was on assignment here to be the military's presence and protection. She wore the uniform of the town's Sheriff, something that did nothing to encompass the massive scale of her job description. With only her and her Deputy, Jean Havoc, the small town's law enforcement office duties covered everything from petty arguments to defending Eureka from attack if enemies ever discovered it for the treasure trove of knowledge it was. That was what their job description was _on paper_ , what it actually entailed was the two of them trying to figure out what project was the cause of whatever mayhem was the flavor of the day.

Today's danger, however, was only the head of the program itself. Dr.Roy Mustang, with a slew of doctorates that he would gladly brag about when given the chance, had just come back from a month away from Eureka and failed to send a single text or communication to tell anyone he was planning to do so. A man with incredible resources at his fingertips, a phone on his hip at all times, and enough brainpower to juggle a dozen tasks at once, yet not _one_ single brain cell dedicated to thinking about how she would react to being surprised by his announcement three hours ago.

Worse yet, she knew he did it for dramatic effect. She knew he did it to surprise his people because she would have definitely let them know and prepare for this visit. He wanted them scurrying around, tripping over themselves in excitement and fear when these important people arrived. Chaos made things seem busy instead of the boring calm that was research being done; testing the research was when it could have unpredictable outcomes. It was now evident why he required all tests to be 'approval only' for the last week; otherwise he had a very real possibility of driving this group into Eureka to find the town in flames, chimera running the streets and clocks running backwards.

It's not that these geniuses were incompetent, it was that they had the resources and freedom to do what they wanted and every damned one of them took advantage of it. Putting pressure on them to have something to present to Senators and Generals would have been a disaster. It also kept some secrets, secret. It gave tastes of things to come,  _if_  the budget was approved, versus delivering results they could shutdown the place and use now. Roy knew what he was doing, but she hated it none-the-less.

And he knew it.

Riza decided to take a walk, help herself to some coffee that wasn't made by gourmet contraption that required way too many levels of input. She knew she had to be emanating levels of anger from the way people were avoiding her and that wasn't helping anyone. She walked down the hall to the break room, avoiding a cleaning robot who was spinning in circles trying to clean popcorn it was dropping from an overloaded popping machine epoxied to it lid. Then she ducked as a drone flew overhead with a cookie tray.

Did nobody remember the Christmas Party disaster from last year? Why the hell was all this stuff out of storage?

No. No. NO! This was Roy's mess and if the tray gave someone a concussion that it was on him. He'd spectacularly dance around the blame and find some positive to it, he always did. This was her five minutes to brew coffee in a 'primitive' 'cheap' coffee pot she had to smuggle in to town on her own in order to have simple, perfect coffee. Five minutes to cool off.

She heard someone at the break room door as she pressed the 'On' button after loading the offending machine. She didn't turn around knowing who it was and her phone went off. She pulled it out and saw a simple text message from Roy, 'sorry'.  _Damn him_. "No,  _you're not_."

Roy watched her turn around and cross her arms. "You're right. I'm not and I won't insult your intelligence by explaining why I did it. You already know. I'm sorry that I had to employ that tactic and upset you though."

"Well, we are right back to where we left off before you ran out of here last month without so much as a phone call until you were in the car full of government officials driving _back_  to Eureka."

"Our conversation..." He paused and took a step towards her and then another. Enough to close the gap and keep things quieter but not invade her space. "Needed to be had in person not over the phone."

"Don't patronize me! I'm not mad because you 'upset' me by doing your job. I'm downright pissed you have no respect for me what-so-ever to include me in whatever scheme it is you think necessary to keep  _your_ job." She said and remained in place, eyes on him, the coffee pot gurgling as it brewed it's batch of bean water like these people thought the early settlers did.

Roy reacted even though he was trying not to. "Well, sorry if ' _I_ think' it a priority to keep Eureka from becoming a ghost town so we don't descend into the dark ages scientifically or worse have the personnel here go to the private sector and sell their ideas to the highest bidder. It's  _my job_  to protect our interests here and  _your job_  to protect this place physically."

It was a misstep and he knew it. She watched him close his eyes and put up his hand, asking to pause and take back what he said. Unfortunately the project allowing the rewind of time for a few seconds had already imploded on itself last week. A mess he wasn't here to clean up, so ' _no'_  her job was more than to just protect this place from invasion. "Go back to doing your job Roy. When you can fit me in on your schedule you let me know. I need to be read in on what exactly our partnership is here because I'm tired of being the ally when you agree with me and your enemy when I dare question you. This is my town too."

"Riza." He said and opened his eyes. He took a deep breath and tried to take himself out of the mindset of dealing with politicians. "You're not my enemy, you're my wife."

"Am I?" She asked. "Because neither one of us is capable of not being who we are professionally in order to make those fleeting moments of personal neutral ground happen for longer than a few days. My job is to protect you and everyone in this town. Your job is to protect all of us from the world. Why the hell can't you stop being such a dick and throwing around your rank when you don't get your way?  _To me_. We should be partners professionally, but you can't give an inch and I do not answer to you. I still am active military and this Sheriff's uniform is just to put everyone at ease. So when General Raven comes to me for my situational report, what do I say? Am I a member of this town or not, because I have a list of really concerning things I should be reading to him that we just put in the shredder and forget about once your people resolve them."

Roy knew he should get back to the party but he saw his marriage slipping away as Riza turned her back to him to make her military grade garbage coffee. She was right. Of course she was. She always made him focus back on reality. He loved her and he took her for granted. "Can we talk now? In my office?"

"We have a lot to talk about." She said and turned back to him, coffee cup in hand. "And, if I recall, you ran away when it didn't go your way last time."

"OK, I deserve that. I didn't run  _away_  from us, I ran _towards_ an inferno that was our annual budget going up in flames in Congress." He replied. "Riza, it was an emergency. I'm not used to...sharing. I'm not used to burdening someone else with everything I deal with. "

"Roy, this isn't about you running out the door and saying 'duty calls'. T his is about the fact that we got married and you thought you could soften me up about not turning over your technology to the military." She replied and walked up to him and looked him in the eye. She could see him struggling with what to say because there was no compromising for them on a lot of issues. He wrongly thought he could count on her to stop being a soldier, for her to stop seeing their successes here as something that could save lives; Lives of men she served with, lives of men who were still serving while she was on special assignment.

"Sometimes, what we make here is too powerful to be in someone's hands. Sometimes it's too much to be released into this world and we need time to modify it for use." He said softly. "I know I said the wrong things, but I don't know how to argue without being an asshole."

"You should learn." She said.

"Teach me." He said in a whisper, begging. "Don't give up on me yet."

"Go back to your party before Edward launches into a speech about the evils of having science married to the military." Riza said. She was beginning to see that that marriage didn't work on a personal level either. Their ideology was too different, even though they both defended common ground.

"Let him." Roy waved that threat off. "It will make them want it all the more. It will make them see the very real threat of a genius like him going and working on his own. Don't tell him I said that."

"If you want to talk, you know where my office is." She said and walked around him only to have him reach out and take her hand. "It will do you some good to find out what it's like to not have everything happen on your terms."

"Are you still sleeping in your office?" He asked.

"You know I am. You have your house's security system reporting to your phone." She replied and tried to take her hand back. He was rubbing his fingers over her wedding ring.

"Its  _our_  house." He said and could feel months of bad decisions all coming down on him and wishing he had that damned time machine to go back and fix them. It really wasn't  _their_  house. He just had her move in with him when they got married, assuming it was _just_ a house, a place to live instead of a home. Another decision he didn't consult her on. She felt more at home on a surplus cot in her office,  _in a jail cell_ , than in his home. He felt a flutter of panic now. "Please, give me ten minutes."

"You really think that ten minutes will finish the conversation we were having last month?" She asked. "You really are too arrogant to reason with then."

"It's a start." He said. "It will give you time to drink your coffee."

"Fine."


	2. Triumph

 

 

 

_Eureka_

Chapter 2

**Triumph**

* * *

"Here, sit down. Get comfortable." Roy said and pulled out his chair behind his desk before going over to look out his windows. It was an offering of the seat of power and he knew that symbolism wouldn't go to waste on her. He walked over to his the window that overlooked the foyer of the building and he could see everything from the entrance over to the elevators. His office was perfectly situated to draw the eye up to the command center of Alkahest Industries, but he made it more of a looming presence by standing here during the day while he made phone calls. Riza had called him on that power play the first day they met, and she continued to call him on a lot of his bullshit practices. So he surveilled the party below, which seemed to be going well. There was nothing disastrous yet, so he dimmed the window panes to ensure nobody could see in while he addressed something he should have done a month ago. He took a deep breath to focus himself on what really mattered and turned back to look at his wife. Riza was leaning against his desk with her arms folded. She wasn't going to get comfortable, she wanted to go back to work. "Am I being selfish here? Do  _you_ want a divorce?"

"Roy, I love you. I want to be a part of this town and a part of your world, but you won't let me." Riza replied simply.

He wasn't sure why she loved him especially with all the shit he constantly pulled. "I don't know how to share all this. I don't  _want to_  because it's honestly a burden of my command, not yours."

"So it's above my pay grade or intelligence?"

"Riza.." He walked towards her, "I  _never_ meant to imply you weren't smart enough to comprehend any of it."

"I understand you have a lot on your plate." She said and unfolded her arms to put her hands on his desk. It was less defensive. She had to lower her defenses too if she was asking for compromise. "The management of this facility, it's people, it's assets. Management of those visitors down there who hold it's future in their hands. Somehow you even manage to work on your own research, which I know is another savory morsel you're keeping just out of the government's reach to get what you want."

Roy smiled at her. His amazing wife who he didn't shower with compliments near enough. "And there's you who watched over all of us, defending us from ourselves and threats outside of town limits. Defending us from our own mistakes and myopic thinking and experiments gone awry. And General Raven, who would certainly be far more concerned about walking in this building if he knew that drone serving him cookies almost decapitated someone at the Christmas party."

"You told me it was just a concussion." She said and he walked over to her with an apologetic smile.

"When the head is still on, it's just a concussion." He said in a sing-song voice and leaned in to place a kiss on her head and a gentle kiss on her lips. "I missed you. I wanted to call but we both know I'm a fucking idiot who can't say the right thing. I needed you to see me with your amazing eyes so you can read my body language while shit pours out of my mouth. "

"It's an occupational hazard." She said. Wit was true for both of them. It took so much for him to 'power-down' from work mode that he often kept working to avoid it. She read his actions and micro-expressions, she knew when to stop listening and call him on it. She wasn't easier to deal with, she always was on edge and ready to jump to action. They were quite the pair.

"I left because there was no way I could have this talk with you knowing what was looming at the capital." He knew she was upset even though she was trying to remain calm and professional. Her long sentences and statements in the break room were not her traditional manner of speech. She was either fueled by anger or too much caffeine, or both. Riza typically was succinct and not prone to making speeches, but her run-on sentences and domination of the conversation lead him to believe her mind and heart was probably racing. Not exactly how he liked to get her riled up, but it certainly seemed to be his modus operandi.

"I know." She knew that all along. It would have been one more disaster to handle and that wasn't fair to either one of them.

"I was still wrong." Roy said and watched her eyes finally focus on him. That was hardly an easy sentence for him to utter and she knew it. "I did what I had to do but I recognize I didn't handle it the right way."

"You didn't speak to me  _for a month_." She reminded him.

"I was way too volatile." He explained. "I knew you were angry, and rightly so. It would only take a spark to set me off and I knew I would say more that I would regret. It was better to just handle the situation in the capital and then come home. I didn't expect it to take as long as it did. Hell, they wouldn't be here if I had any other option."

"You can leave me to handle everything on my own but you can't trust me enough to share information with me when you're here?" Riza asked. "You understand that is contradictory, don't you?"

"I trust you Riza." He said. "You understand that my ability to leave everything in your hands is the  _epitome_  of trust?"

"Dropping that responsibility in my lap without any access to information is the sign of a bad leadership not delegation." She reminded him. "You leave the town in my hands, not Alkahest Industries. That you control thorough your phone. You let your people come to me when they need help."

"Since when do you need my security clearance and access to the Alkahest network to operate?" Roy scoffed. "You rely on your instinct and observation skills because you don't believe that plans mean much once put into action. That's your own words."

"It doesn't mean I enjoy you leaving me in the dark." She said. "Why don't you allow me the privilege of determining what I ignore and what I take into consideration?"

"Is this about work or us?" Roy asked.

"At this point work is defining us." She said. "So both."

"I love you, you know that...right? I never make you question that, do I?" He touched her face, gently stroking away a stray hair. She looked so tense, because of him.

"The question is, can we really make our marriage work?" She asked. "Not 'do we love each other', but 'can we be married'? Was that really just an impulsive night six months ago where we thought we were better people than we really are?"

That hurt. They had asked themselves if they could make this work, compromise and be true partners in life. They managed things for a a few months but then stress levels got high and projects intensified and they repelled against each other the magnetic fields had been reversed. "Compromise has never been easy for me."

"You've never had to. You're always steps ahead of everyone, so you lead." She said. "I follow orders or give them and you...don't outrank me. Except with all your doctorates and degrees..."

"I don't have a list of military honors like you do." He said genuinely. "I don't get to order you around."

"You push me away instead." She said and he looked to the floor. Inside this building he was king. She had no authority to do anything in this building except escort people out after they had been terminated. He had every right to shove her out the door.

"I like being in control, that way I don't have to worry about that variable." He replied. This facility was everything: knowledge, power and danger. "You don't need to know what the military is missing out on. So much that is done here never gets off the ground. What reaches the testing stage often fails. What succeeds is too much to hand over as is. That is what I withhold from you. That is all."

"So where are we?" She asked. "I still believe what you make here is for the benefit of the military, however you think everything is too powerful to be in the hands of the military. You protect this place from everyone, including me."

"It's a habit that's not easy to break." He confessed. "I want to. There is so much going on here that I wish I could tell you about. I want to let you know about the necromancy Elrics's working on..."

"I know about it." She said dryly and watched his expression go from almost apologetic to panic in an instant. "Ed tried to bring back his mother two weeks ago, opened a gate to who-the-hell-knows-where, lost two limbs and his brother and almost swallowed up the facility in a vortex of eyeballs and tentacles."

"He... _what_?"

"He got it all back and we shut it down." She said and shrugged.

"Why didn't anyone call me?"

"Like I said, we handle it and put the event in the shredder when it's resolved and move on." Riza then added, "I was also under the impression your phone didn't work since you weren't using it."

"What else did I miss?" He asked curiously and her look said, 'a lot'.

"Chimeras? Everywhere. Guess who had to wrangle them?  _Not_  the scientist, if you want a hint." She said. "Then there was that time machine fiasco which I have yet to understand how reversing it gave Mrs. Bradley's homunculus child an extra nipple. There was the experiment that put a serial killer's consciousness into the body of a suit of armor for 'military purposes' which backfired and got me a creepy stalker. Oh and the weird mannequin soldier project which I believe is just a guise for sex dolls. Which reminds me, one of Dr. Marcoh's philosopher's stones is still in Dr. Kimblee's stomach and he keeps regurgitating it to avoid letting it pass through his system and be 'taken away'. I'm honestly not getting paid enough for  _that_  so I told Marcoh to talk with you when you got back."

"Oh."

"I think I handle it all just fine." She said and reached up and patted his cheek. "Which I thought I showed you, but you still have your concerns about letting me know what is going on. Yet here I am handling it when it all spills out of  _your_  facility and into  _my_  streets. I'm the one who has to wake up in the middle of the night because some disembodied ax murderer named Barry walks in my office. I have to shoot him and he ends up falling in love with me."

"I'm concerned about this Barry guy, all right."

"You should be, he's downstairs on the second sub-floor as far as I know. I would worry about one of those Generals, who probably commissioned the sex dolls, going to look for them and getting a different surprise." She replied and watched him bite his lip. This shouldn't be relaxing him, but the man she loved was slowly emerging from under all the stress of his job. "I want to help you Roy, this job is too much for one man, even if that man is you."

"I don't want you to have to deal with this." He said and sighed. "In my attempts to juggle it all I guess I forgot to see that you already were."

"You're not the only one who wants to see this town saved." She said. "Everyone understands what Eureka is and wants it to thrive."

"Nobody sees that it take me being a politician to keep them free to work. I do what I do, so they can have this." He said. "I'd rather be the buffer between Eureka and the real world for both sides than to have anything ruin this place."

"I see it. All I want is to be by your side while you continue to do that." She said. "That's all. You have to let me."

"I don't deserve you." He said and leaned over to kiss her. " _You_  deserve better."

"I made my choice when I married you. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. Otherwise, you would have come home to divorce paperwork." She said. "I'd follow you into hell if you asked me to, but I need you to ask before you book the damned trip without me."

"Starting tomorrow I will copy you on my agenda for the day." He said.

"Since when do you create an agenda?" Riza said annoyed. "You hate paperwork."

"Good point." He said. "I thought I'd commit to doing that for you, but I can see that causing a new problem in a few days."

"Why don't you tell me at dinner?" She replied.

"I don't want to turn dinner into a briefing." Roy huffed. "I thought we were going to try and separate personal time and work?"

"That's clearly not working out for us." She said. "I think you might have a better time unwinding from the day if you debrief when you get home."

"Is that how normal people do it? 'How was your day at work, honey?' 'Oh, Armstrong informed me his protein shake makes him ejaculate sparkles?'" Roy said and Riza tried to not laugh, she was trying very hard. "I gave samples to all our visitors so I can find out later if those mannequin soldiers are sex dolls."

Riza finally couldn't hold back a laugh. "You did  _not_!"

" _You're_  the one who told me to share our secrets with the military. They want to be muscular and strong." Roy smirked. "It's been tested, Alex drinks it every day. It's 'Armstrong Muscle Milk' and I'm actually happy to discover it's synthetic and not 'milked' from his own muscles in some fashion."

Riza started to laugh, laugh away the remainder of the stress that had been slowly dissolving.

Roy leaned in and kissed her, first on the forehead, then on the cheek. Then he brought her in for a hug and kissed her jaw before whispering in her ear, "Did you want some Armstrong  _cream_  in your coffee?"

She threw her head back and started laughing more. Then she playfully slapped him in the arm. "That's  _horrible!_ "

"Where else is it  _coming_  from. He doesn't have nipples." Roy said and she hit him harder. He had to smile, she made very ounce of stress and worry leave him when she laughed. Maybe he could share more, he ended up giving her the information eventually when it all blew up in someone's face. "I'll try harder to be a better husband, I promise."

"Just talk to me." She replied. "That's all I ask."

He kissed her and she kissed him back, hesitantly, debating on whether or not this was progress and answers they both needed. He knew he needed to show her he loved her and that was not going to be done with words. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder and put her hand on his head and pulled him closer, he didn't need to ask if they were OK.

She hated that this was how things went with them too often, a kiss leading to her pulling him in for more. Perhaps they both found it difficult to communicate some things and actions spoke  _so_  much louder than words. She loved him, god how she loved him, and they both had their faults, but passion was not one of them. "Is the door locked?"

"Yes..." He replied and pressed a button on his key fob that performed that task as she started to loosen his tie. He tried to look at her with mock concern, but it was hard not to smile when the woman he loved was undressing him and signaling this matter was now closed.

"I think I like it lot better _on_  this desk then behind  _it._ " She pulled his tie free and watched his breath fluctuate.

"I think you're way better at negotiating than I am." He grinned and reached out to unbutton her shirt and she took her gun belt off to place it on the floor. She started to push off his jacket.

"I don't want to rush you, but knowing how this place runs," She started kissing his jaw and neck, then leaned back to kiss his lips. "Disaster is imminent. So if we're going to have sex on your desk, you might want to hurry it up."

"God, how much did you miss me?" He asked and she bit his lip. "Or how much do you like arguing with me?"

"Stop." She said and looked him in the eye. "Talking."

"Right. We talked, now sex. On my desk. In my office. While there is a congressional and military review board wandering the facility." He said and laughed a little as she grinned at him. "Alright, I'll do what it takes to save our marriage but I'd really like for you to want my mind and not just my body."

"Quit fucking talking." She said, laughed and grabbed his belt and yanked it tighter to demonstrate her impatience. He gasped and she unhooked the buckle and let go.

"Or what?" He asked and she pulled him down to her by his untied necktie and kissed him. A month of frustrations, sexual and otherwise, culminating in one powerful kiss. He put his hands on her hips to push her pants down, she reached out to unbutton his. Time for teasing was over.


	3. Necessity is the Mother of Invention

**AN:**  I don't plan on making any OCs for this fic. Everyone who shows up is either from an version of the anime, book or game from the FMA series at some point.

* * *

 

 

_Eureka_

Chapter 3

**Necessity is the Mother of Invention**

* * *

"Do I look presentable?" Roy asked as he refastened his tie and smoothed out his vest. They just got redressed and he was chastising himself for throwing his damned clothes on the floor like a heathen.

"You always look good." Riza had to admit as she ran her hands over him to brush off any stray hairs or indication that they slipped away to have sex. She had to take some tape off his desk and use it as a lint brush to get some crumbs and dirt off his pants, clearly picked up from the floor when he just kicked them off and walked out of them.

"I would say the same, but you know I hate that uniform on you." Roy said and she looked up at him smiled knowingly. The generic Sheriff uniform was available in men's sizes and had to be tailored to even come close to fitting her. Alex Armstrong modified it to her specifications and let a lot to be desired as far as Roy was concerned.

"That is the point." Riza said and finished her inspection and deemed him presentable enough. "So what's the plan?"

"I plan to take the visitors on a tour of the lab with the sex dolls so I can mask the scent of what we just did." Roy said with a smirk.

"You mean Mannequin soldiers, right?" She corrected him. Roy could be crass and that would certainly not make the offending General any more amiable by being called out by his 'project'.

"Yeah, whatever the hell we're calling them." He looked over at his private bathroom and mumbled, "I need to get a shower added in there."

"I'll help clean up the fiasco in the lobby on the way back to my office." Riza said. "Unless you need me for the walk-through?"

"I think it would make Raven suspicious." Roy said. "I fought him on your instatement here and his insistence that you have more access to the facility. He's going to push that envelope and I honestly don't want to put you on the spot where you have to lie about anything."

"I have to report to him later, anyway." She said. "He's going to come to my office and ask questions of both me and Havoc. So, my question is, are we still not mentioning our marriage?"

"It's none of their fucking business." Roy grumbled. "Honestly I probably apologized too soon. I really could have used you fuming at me from the side of the room to make sure our guests never considered we're in a relationship.  _Oops_."

She saw his smirk and just gave him an admonishing look. "It would have been an tactical advantage for you."

"Tactical error is more likely. I put it off long enough and I am very pleased with the way it turned out." He replied and kissed her. "Besides you don't work  _for_  me, it's not fraternization. No concern of theirs."

"The DoD probably feels differently." She replied. "This is a highly sensitive facility and they want to scrutinize  _everything_  that happens here."

"We filed our paperwork." Roy said with a smile. "That's all we're required to do."

"Maybe they know we're married already."

"Doubtful." Roy said. "I report to the DoD directly, you report to the Army. The government sections don't like sharing information, even if they all fall under the same umbrella. To the Army, my name means nothing; to the DoD, you already had required security clearance and lived in Eureka. The only people who would have a degree of name recognition are currently two Generals touring our facility.  _Generals._ They don't look at human resources paperwork unless they're trying to cause problems. Their assistants don't have clearance to know about Eureka. I think it will be a year, at least, before anyone notices we're married. Bureaucracy is a bitch."

She tried to ignore his smug smirk but had to smile. He was adorable when amused with himself for making the system work against itself. "This would be one of those times you want to refrain from sharing information with the Army."

"For good reason." Roy said. "They don't need to know."

Riza sighed as he put his hand on her cheek, reassuring her that this wasn't lying it; was withholding information.  _Totally_  different things. "I do feel it is the best course of action. I'm sure I'll be reaffirmed of that when Raven starts complaining about you later, not realizing your my husband; I'll regret it when he's threatening to court-martial me after he finds out."

"I'm glad." Roy said. "I was hoping you weren't just trying to make things easier on yourself when you divorced me."

"If the surname is an issue..."

"As much as I would love to hear everyone address you as Riza Mustang, I have to admit, that is purely pride on my part and has virtually no bearing on what matters in our marriage."

" _Virtually_?" She narrowed her eyes at him for clarification.

"This Barry guy should have known better than to hit on you."

"He's a murderer, worse he's a serial killer. He hardly understands restraint and etiquette or respects the law."

"Still..." Roy mumbled.

"Go back to work." She said with a smile. "Call me if I have to handle anything."

"Can we talk later about what I need to do to make this arrangement work?" Roy asked. "I want to feel like we've resolved our problems, but we both know we just resolved tension and our issue is still very much hanging over us. I don't want to lose you, I can't afford to lose you."

"Roy, we're newlyweds. We're still figuring each other out and how we fit into each others lives. We got married after a very short and intense few months of dating." Riza smiled at him. "We skipped a lot of steps. We are still learning about each other."

"Stop apologizing for my actions. I was being an asshole."

"I didn't pick up the phone either." She admitted.

"You really thought we were falling apart, didn't you?" He asked.

"Roy what do we really have in common?" She asked. "Why are you married to a soldier instead of a another brilliant scientist? Someone you can actually converse with about thermodynamics?"

"I am married to you, because I love you." Roy said and touched her face. "You just happen to be a soldier, you're more than just your occupation Riza. You're also showing me there is more to me than just being a scientist."

"You're right." She said and he looked excited to hear that, he did love to hear those words, the egotistical shit. Then she added, "You've got an amazing body for a man who spends over twelve hours a day behind a desk."

He deflated when he realized she set him up for that. "See, there you go again, outmaneuvering me and setting me up. "

"Let's talk tonight." She said and slapped his ass as she went to leave. "Go save Eureka."

"Thanks dear." He said dryly and then called out, "I didn't get that Noble Prize for  _my body_."

"No you got a centerfold in some hot scientist calendar." She said and got to the door to discover it was still locked. "Can you open the door?"

"Havoc gave that to you, didn't he?"

"His husband is in it. He has it hanging on the wall in my office bathroom. If you ever came on my turf and visited my office for more than a few minutes, you would have seen it by now." She reminded Roy that not  _everyone_  was enamored with him. "Speaking of Breda, I think he's probably done severing lunch to your guests."

Roy put his hand in his pocket and unlocked the door. "It was for a good cause you know."

"I didn't say I was complaining." She grinned and left. No, she and Havoc were never going to move out of the 2016 Undercover Eureka calendar year despite it being well over.

* * *

Roy returned to his visitors as they were sampling some catered food brought in from the Hagaren Cafe in town. Dr. Heymans Breda was explaining the science of food and trying to convince the Generals that eating better could increase productivity for their soldiers. The Senator and Congressman were shoving their mouths full of gourmet delights thinking it didn't apply to them. "While you are in town, please feel free to stop into the cafe. All residents receive free food and that extends to guests."

Breda watched the politicians almost choke and the Generals eyeball Mustang. He chose to seize the opportunity given and expand on the explanation of his research. "As I was saying, it's actually easier to work good food into the budget than expect people to perform at their best on lesser quality nutrition. I think you can agree the portions you've sampled are small, but filling. They meet and exceed all current nutritional requirements set forth by our own government."

"How exactly can you expect us to approve the budget you are asking for when you are giving food away for  _free_?" Senator Klemin asked.

"Dr. Breda has the documentation you require on the benefits and savings of this program at the end of the table." Roy pointed to folders that were set under plates of dessert. "He has a doctorate in Food Science and is a candidate for a Noble Prize for his work on ending world hunger."

"Food Science?" General Hakuro asked. "Is that a real thing?"

Roy didn't give Breda a chance to defend himself because nobody tried to devalue his people on his watch. "Actually Food Science is incredibly complex and requires study in the fields of chemistry, biology, engineering and agriculture as well as an understanding of social, cultural and artistic influences. I assure you, it's a real and very practical thing."

Breda smirked, his boss could use his authority for good sometimes. He could feel the group freeze and look at Mustang who had quickly changed the mood in the room from hospitable to hostile. So he opted to changed the subject. "We source all of our food locally as Eureka is a self-sustaining town. What is grown by our agriculture division feeds everyone. Their research maximizes crops for a larger harvest and livestock for a larger yield."

"You could be selling it and generating your own income." Congressmen Gardner pointed out.

"Eureka is about progress." Roy reminded them. "Greater crop yields mean more profits and more food. It stimulates the economy and increases production levels while reducing hunger and health care burdens in the outside world. Inside this town, it's great for morale; When you sequester a bunch of families in the middle of nowhere and monitor every facet of their lives to ensure secrets aren't sold, you are walking a fine line of confinement versus freedom. It's a perk of the job. It also means they can add free food and fuel to their income since they get paid as government scientists and not private sector ones. It's a system that works, and as you can see, it's actually a better choice for hard working families than having to come home and make dinner. It's proven to keep people working longer and worrying less about having to get home to take care of their families."

"Interesting." Klemin said and went to help himself to dessert and the folder. No wonder the Army was trying to keep this place secret,  _their_  budget could be reworked if they could get food for free. That meant more money for weapons.

"We don't charge soldiers for their meals at the mess, do we General?" Roy asked and Raven gave a fake laugh.

"Are you implying you got the idea from the Army, Mustang?"

"I feed my people, that's just good sense." Roy looked over to Breda. "Dr. Breda keeps everyone fed well and productivity is at an all time high because of it. It's the base layer of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: Food, Water and Shelter. All met by the company asking it's employees to uproot their lives and families and live in seclusion to do their jobs. We are not military, but we ask a lot of our people."

"Explain to me why there is not more of a military presence if you are indeed under the DoD's watch?" Gardner asked. "This sounds like a bounty of technology that the world would be after."

"Our Sheriff and Deputy are active military as is our town Doctor." Roy replied. "They report to the Army, not to me, by design. A system of checks and balances."

"Reports that I don't see very often." Raven commented as he helped himself to another portion of food.

"Your employees, not mine." Roy said.

"Your protocol, not mine." Raven countered. "It's funny that everyone I send here ends up corrupted by your techniques of hiding things from the military that you serve and that  _serves you_  funding to feed your research here."

"I serve the country." Roy replied and the other men looked at him and Raven with interest as they wolfed down dessert. Tension was building. "Unfortunately our government gives the majority of it's funding to the military so that puts me in the position of having to cater to you. However we here in Eureka do still remain detached from the Army by a few degrees of separation and that is something I hope to convince these gentlemen is essential. Otherwise you two politicians would never know this town, or this facility, ever existed and the army would take everything for itself."

"You're quite the politician yourself, Mustang." Raven said and gave him a smile that said it was intended as an insult. Now he saw the man's play, to make sure the Army couldn't keep inching closer to taking Eureka under it's wing. Bastard. "You dance around the answers better than these two, and that's a fact."

"That's why I'm the director of the most advanced scientific facility in the world." Roy replied. "The majority of the scientists under this roof would never work for you. Me included."

Raven knew he was being bated. Mustang was pushing him to see if there was a chance of them bringing in someone else, someone more inclined to share with the military. "I suppose so."

Roy gave a wry smile, "So when you gentleman are done with your meals, I'll escort you on a tour of the labs."

* * *

Riza delegated clean up to Roy's assistant, Vato Falman. Falman had a doctorate in Information Technologies and had an incredible memory. Roy had no choice but to bring him in to his inner circle when he discovered that Falman could recall everything he read. It was a security risk, but also an asset. She felt safe leaving him in charge of the party aftermath as he could prioritize which scientists needed to be sent back to their labs first and which could use a little more time to socialize. He knew everyone's work and their personalities, he was better at it. It allowed her to go back to her office to prepare for the inevitable visit from her boss.

"Hey Chief." Havoc said as he looked up from his desk as the Sheriff returned. He was cleaning a shotgun since he was expecting a white glove inspection of the place since Generals were in town.

"Jean." Riza replied and went over to her desk to see what she had to clean up herself; Paperwork for her, Havoc knew what he was doing by getting a head start on the armory. "Raven and Hakuro are currently touring AI, I don't expect them for at least another few hours. Roy's probably arguing with Raven as we speak."

"Heymans just sent me a text saying he's bringing leftovers. He'll give us the inside info on lunch." Jean narrowed his eyes at her. "Something's different about you."

Leave it to her Deputy and best friend to not let this go. Instead of denying it she simply said, "Roy and I...made up."

Havoc chuckled. "Your relationship amazes me. Not just because you two are compatible, but because you have little to no regard for having sex in that building.  _That building_  where we literally encounter all kinds of fucked up substances on the walls and floor that have really godawful uses and side effects."

"He is careful not to allow anything like that in his office."

"Yeah, I'm seeing his incredibly high standards for what he allows in his office."

"It was my idea."

"This keeps getting better." Jean snorted. "I mean, I get it. I get that someone in his position would enjoy taking orders in his down time, but damn."

"Jean, can we please focus on work?" She said and tried to not smile. Roy would not appreciate Havoc's insightful observations about their sex life. Hethought himself an enigma.

"You're glowing." Jean held out his box of cigarettes. "Did you need a smoke? You look like you do."

Riza had to laugh. It felt good and she knew Jean was doing it on purpose because the last month had been tense. He deserved to know that things were better, he worried a lot about her. "Save it. The last time  _your_  husband brought you lunch I walked in to you with your hands wrapped around the jail cell bars, your pants down, and him giving you a blow job."

"Touche." Jean said. Yes, there was no judgment here. He and Heymans had no qualms about utilizing the office for personal matters either. If the Generals only knew about that lax protocol.

"We need to make sure we have something harmless to show Raven." Riza said, trying to get them back on track. "We can't hide what happens here, but we can definitely lead him to cases that are a little less indicative of the chaos that ensues when experiments go wrong."

"Is your change of status form in that pile?" Havoc asked curiously. He needed to know where they were on the publicity of the Mustang-Hawkeye marriage. The town knew, the town knew everything thanks to the gossips at Hagaren Cafe, but that was different than broadcasting it to their superior officer.

"I mailed it." Riza replied. "That is good enough, right?"

"Yeah." Havoc assured her. "Forms filled out, signed and mailed off. That's all we do around here, paperwork. I'm sure if they knew about it then you would have gotten a call from the Relationship Auditor by now."

Roy had mentioned that casually a few months ago. A psychiatrist who came in to evaluate relationships and give it government approval or determine it was a risk factor. Being a very high security job, everyone at this clearance level was required to undergo the criticism of their personal relationships by an outsider. When hearts were broken and emotions ran high, people with access to technology like this could be a risk to everyone. It was a safety protocol, something she and Roy were avoiding talking about since it loomed over their heads. They hoped they could figure themselves out before they got that surprise visit. "True."

"So, how about Fossil Disease?" Jean said as he ticked off recent events to see if they were acceptable for the General's eyes.

"Definite 'No' pile." Riza said and leaned back in her chair. "Dr. Majhol's zombies? Maybe that will scare whoever commissioned the Mannequin soldiers."

"Why do we have so many people making fake people?" Jean asked. "Cowley. Majhol. Bradley."

"Majhol tried to bind souls to dolls. Crowley is making golems. Bradley made artificial humans." Riza replied. "They're all different."

"Not really." Havoc placed a cigarette on his lips as he went back to cleaning his shotgun. "Other than that extra nipple thing."

"Still, I think the zombie dolls would be safe?" She asked. "That's just weird ,not a frightening display of Roy's lack of control over his scientists?"

"Unless someone wants to animate his blow up sex doll or creepy Victorian doll collection." Jean said and then shrugged, "Which would prove your point about the mannequin soldier's origin. I think that's safe."

"What about the chimeras?" Riza asked.

"Just let them talk to Scar." Jean snorted. "He's intimidating enough. When he does his " _Chimeras, fucking sweet!"_  routine he'll show they have no military application because they can be taken out of commission with just one hit."

"Good." She said and grabbed the next file. "What about the Tringhams?"

"Yeah, I guess leaching poison out of the ground with plants is cool. As is the medicinal marijuana." Jean said. "Not sure they'll find the whole 'accidentally poisoning the water supply with contaminated red water and the atmosphere with pot' that confidence inspiring though."

"I have to give them something. If we sugar coat everything I think it will be obvious we've gone through the files and picked the harmless ones." She said and looked up as Breda arrived with lunch. "So how did it go?"

"Your husband is hot when he's protective." Breda winked. "Defended my field of expertise and went toe to toe with Raven to do so."

"Great." She mumbled. "I'm assuming they treated you like furniture when they were eating if they insulted you in front of him. Anything I should know about?"

"Yeah, they're not exactly the best people to respect or notice the 'hired help'." Breda said. "They mentioned talking to Petr Hildebrand about his Gundum robot. Apparently he wants to plant it in the courtyard of the Capital building as a defensive measure. They seemed to think that was a good idea."

Riza stood up, knowing where this was going. "Enjoy lunch Deputy, I'll call you when I determine what guns we need to bring that damned thing down."

" _Enjoy_  lunch, huh?" Breda asked as soon as she left. "Sounds like an order."

"Well, I'm probably going to spend my afternoon risking my life trying to take down a rogue giant robot with advanced weaponry released into the world without any testing or fail safes." Havoc said and stood up. "So yeah, sounds like a great time for a quickie before I end up too broken or to dead to do anything."

* * *

 **AN** : Petr Hildebrand is from the Wii games Prince of Dawn and Daughter of the Dusk. And he does manage to plant a giant robot in the middle of Central City.

The 'Relationship Auditor' is a Eureka element that would be stupid to leave out. This fic is going to play trope bingo and I can't miss out on that one.

The alluded to Bravoc BJ is an nod to a wonderful Carter/Stark event in a Eureka fanfic by glitterfic.  An event that enriched my life.   


	4. Be Careful What You Ask For

**AN** : These chapters keep getting longer. Sorry about that. Also sorry about the shitpost science coming your way.

* * *

 

 

_Eureka_

Chapter 4

**Be Careful What You Ask For**

* * *

After Roy received the text from Riza about Hildebrand's damned robot, he chose to take his guests down to Kimblee's lab and leave them there. It would keep them out of the way while the robot situation was handled by the Sheriff's department and also subject them to some punishment for arguing with him every step of the way though Alkahest Industries corridors.

"Solf Kimblee is supposed to be in prison."

Roy turned to look at General Hakuro who apparently was not in Raven's inner loop. Raven puffed up and looked at him, expecting Roy to answer why the traitor scientist was granted access to the country's premier science facility. As if this was Roy's doing and not his. "Dr. Kimblee is the world's best nuclear physicist. If it's nuclear, he's got his hands in it. Hardly an asset or a weapon we want to leave in solitary confinement for anyone to have access to. Our prisons are not as secure as this town."

"Who signed off on this?" Senator Klemin asked. "A pardon on that level..."

"Goes to the very top." Raven confirmed what the man suspected. "The President felt the safest place in the world for Dr. Kimblee was with people who could monitor his work in a place that nobody knew about."

Roy sighed. That was a deal he had inherited from his predecessor when he took his job as director. "He dabbles in everything that can be classified nuclear; weapons, medicine, power."

"It sounds like that makes him dangerous." Congressman Gardner said.

"More than you can possibly imagine." Roy said dryly, it was well beyond their scope of understanding. Thankfully Kimblee would enjoy pointing out they had no fucking clue about the level of brilliance he possessed. That, Roy hoped, would keep them all occupied while he dragged Petr Hildebrand out of his office by his greasy hair and sacrificed him to his battle robot.

Solf turned around as he heard the door open and raised an eyebrow at the crowd of visitors. He didn't go to Mustang's ridiculous party in the atrium and doubted anyone missed him. His lab, more notably him, would not be on the tour if Mustang wasn't desperate. So he sized up these officials as they cautiously stepped into his lab and looked at all his computers and displays. Three were scared, one was Raven who had helped orchestrate his employment here. So Mustang was trying to put Raven in a corner somehow, otherwise the two politicians and one concerned General would still be sitting in swivel chairs in the capital. Fine. It was in his best interests to help with this as he wasn't fond of being told what  _not_  to do. "Hello gentlemen."

"Dr. Kimblee, Congressman Gardner, Senator Klemin and Generals Raven and Hakuro are all on the budget committee determining Eureka's future." Roy said and felt the politicians squirm.

Kimblee smiled and stood up, smoothing out his white lab coat as he did so. "So it's up to me to do some convincing?"

Roy gave him a glare to tell him to tone it down. "I couldn't think of a better place to show our guests the applications of research done here in Eureka. We have a lot of theoretical research and experiments that are years from field testing that I  _could_ show them, but our country benefits from advancements in nuclear physics that they already know about and don't realize who they have to thank for it all."

That was cute. Kimblee snorted. Mustang just wanted to wash his hands of them while he dealt with some idiot's experiment gone awry. Which was fine by him. He could work this into more dedicated funding for his own projects and possibly push for some field tests when he dangled weapons in front of the generals. Mustang didn't appreciate his explosions, these two most certainly would. "Well, how can I refuse that?"

Roy knew Kimblee's "survival of the fittest' attitude would keep the military men entranced. The politicians would like his explanation of how the facility here was powered with a reactor of his own design, hitting on environmental topics they could use for re-election. Later he'd have to pay for it, possibly with Marcoh's stone that Kimblee thought was a snack for whatever reason, but he'd deal with that later. "I need to make sure my people are getting back to work after their little break earlier. I leave you in good hands."

Solf smirked, Mustang was so full of shit. "So, where do we start?"

"It seems a bit hard to believe one man could specialize in all those fields?" Hakuro said.

"It's a little bit me being bored in prison and having free time to write some ground-breaking research papers," Kimblee said and shrugged. "And a little bit not wanting to share my lab with anyone. So I just took their job and did it better than them. No big deal."

"That's impressive." Hakuro noted. Kimblee used to work for the military but an incident at a military base informed them he wasn't the best candidate for the position he held. He had been tried and convicted of treason, but was apparently just shuffled away to somewhere more suitable.

"In this place, not so much." Kimblee mumbled. "So, the question is, do you want to see data on my advancements in nuclear energy? Would you like to hear about my creative uses for nuclear waste? Or perhaps, everyone's favorite discussion, what happens when everything goes  _boom_  and we're dealing with the fallout from a nuclear explosion?"

The men all were surprised when the scientist opened his arms and clapped, the speakers overhead started playing some kind of classical music. Hakuro cocked his head, "You're using the Clapper to turn your radio on?"

Kimblee smirked and showed his tattooed hands. "No, the tattoos are a special ink that amplifies the body's electricity for various uses. I have my computer controls programmed to work off my hands. The inventor of this ink ended up losing his dick in a weird accident that was probably not unrelated to said appendage, so don't get any ideas gentlemen. It's not for the weak minded."

Raven and Hakuro both stiffened as Kimblee demonstrated the magic ink by running his fingers over his palms, completely forgetting about his thinly veiled insult. A pane of glass on the side of the room that had previously looked like just an empty wall, now was clear and showing something that looked like a miniature Fourth of July fireworks display  _with nuclear weapons_. They were now intrigued. It was a diorama of the country. Raven went over and looked at it and noted key locations of missile bases, weapons stations, army bases and several points that were highly classified nuclear waste dumping sites.

Solf went over and leaned against the wall and smiled as he watched his beautiful simulation. Some people had those faux fireplaces, he had his own version. Raven gave him a nervous glance and he returned a knowing smug smile. Radioactive material was not hard to find, _idiot_. "The symphony you're listening to is the audio from inside the lab. Each detonation, each delightful whistle of an incoming missile,  _musical_."

* * *

"Alright Falman, give me the details." Roy said as he met his assistant on the elevator.

"Hildebrand is trying to impress the visitors and get himself noticed. He released his defense robot without any testing." Falman reported. "Security couldn't find him in the lab. He's likely in the field with it."

"Of course he is." Roy said. "He needs to make up his mind what his damned robot is actually for. Is it a Mars rover, a defense system or the reason he's getting fired?"

"His latest summary of his progress states the robot is it's infantile stages." Falman showed Roy the designs that were submitted.

"Infantile is right." Roy said in disgust. "That design looks like a baby created it. I feel like we should go question the kindergartners at Jabir Elementary and ask who made the 'mole trashcan man'. I don't want to insult their intelligence though."

Falman shrugged, it was pretty crude. "Hildebrand isn't exactly known for his appreciation of outward appearances and first impressions."

"Well they say that pets look like their owners. Fitting it looks like a piece of shit."

Falman took a deep breath. "Although not intimidating on the outside, it's equipped to the hilt with all the latest tech available for collaborative research projects."

"Send all that research material to me and copy the Sheriff." Roy said and Falman froze. "Just do it."

"OK."

"I'm going to step out for a bit and get a visual of this thing." Roy signed. "See if you can find Scar and send him to the site."

"He's a  _veterinarian_." Falman felt his boss's wrath as he gave him that look that told him to shut up and do as told. "Yes sir."

"Stay here, let me know if the tour group needs a new babysitter." Roy heard the ding of the elevator and stepped out as soon as the doors opened. "Also make sure Dr. Marcoh didn't create some kind of laxative or something to induce vomiting in order to get his Philosopher's Stone back from Kimblee. I don't need the man sick in that regard right now."

Falman couldn't help but ask, "You're comfortable leaving them with Dr. Kimblee?"

"I figure it will be a good hour before he gets around to showing them that his version of nuclear medicine involves injecting miniaturized nuclear devices into the body to 'blow up' the offending disease. " Roy shrugged. "Radiation is radiation, might as well deliver it with some flair. His presentation is quite visual, that should soften them up a little."

"Soften them in what capacity?" Falman asked, afraid that Mustang was finally at the point where he was delivering bureaucrats for human sacrifice.

"Just don't leave them down there all day." Roy said with a wave. "It's just like a cat playing with a mouse, he won't do an harm until he gets bored and wants to move on."

"Is there a time table for that?" Falman asked but Mustang was already staring at his phone in order to go over the schematics of the robot. He apparently was going to drive himself to the location of the debacle and that meant that the visitors were safer with Kimblee than on the streets with Mustang behind the wheel.

* * *

When Roy arrived at the scene of what would be called the Battle of the Gundumb, he saw his wife and her deputy were already armed with 'the Big Guns'. He looked out across the field at the monstrosity staggering around the testing grounds and shook his head. The robot looked even more disappointing than the designs. Before he went to get a report from the local law enforcement, he called Falman.

" _Sir?"_

"Get with Scheska and find out what Hildebrand is actually using his funding for because it's  _not_ this robot. He's pulled his materials out of the trash bin, I recognize a lot of scraped projects."

" _The robot looks worse than it does on paper?_ "

"He externalized the power supply lines from the generators on the Trash Man's back." Roy could feel his soul being ripped from his body at the sight of this abomination. A scientist. A leader in his field of study. His damned employee. "Get the documentation of his fraud, draw up redaction paperwork and have it all on my desk when I get back. He's getting fired one way or another today."

 _"Yes sir!_ "

Roy hung up and walked over to Riza and Havoc. They were at a safe distance overlooking the testing field where Hildebrand's Garbage Man was stomping around and ripping up trees with it's clawed hands; clawed hands that looked like he stole the idea from one of those crane machines that tricked kids into spending fifty dollars on a fifty cent plush toy. Roy was feel the animosity of being tricked into giving this bastard funding for robotics project when his degree probably came with the trash cans or his morning cereal. "Un-fucking-believable."

"As much as I appreciate you sending me the  _classified_  research about this particular project." Riza looked over at her husband who looked like he was going to have an out of body experience pretty soon. "I think I would appreciate the condensed version instead of the a fore mentioned  _classified_  document."

"More like Ikea manual." Havoc chimed in.

"Don't worry, it will be declassified and posted for peer review by tonight." Roy said and shook his head. He really should not have been away for a month. "There is nothing about that Scrap-tastic Robot that requires a security label other than 'Best suited for kids over the age of 5'."

Havoc chuckled. "I like that. We should call it Scrappy."

"Deputy," Roy said, his anger seething now, "We only name our Artificial Intelligence around here and there is  _nothing_  intelligent about  _that_."

Havoc shrugged. That was one of the unwritten rules in this town that the scientists seemed to respect more than the law. True Artificial Intelligence was given a name, which is why everyone could get by with calling Alkahest Industries AI without confusion. The nerds all named their projects as if they were children, and in some cases they were. He raised his massive gun to his shoulder and peered through the scope. "I guess you're right, Scrappy looks to have a glass chest which serves an observation window. There is definitely a dude in there controlling it."

"Fire." Roy instructed. "Just obliterate all of it."

"No." Riza said and looked over at him, "We are not shooting down the robot and your stupid mad scientist in the process."

"Looks like having the hubby participate in action  _outside_  the office wasn't the best idea." Havoc chuckled.

"Hold your fire Havoc." Riza instructed.

"Are we talking literal gunfire or firing off my smart mouth?"

Riza was about to reply when she saw someone materialize from the bushes. "What the hell is Scar doing here?"

"I called him." Roy said and both Havoc and Riza gave him a look that said they were both sick of him inserting himself in their take-down operation. He wasn't going to explain himself, so instead he turned to the man stalking up to them wearing no shirt, a leather jacket, Adidas sweatpants and flip flops. He could see Scar wasn't thrilled, he probably interrupted something, so he crossed his arms to look intimidating and made sure to stand uphill from the guy. "Can you use your 'hand of God' on that abomination to interrupt it's primitive electrical system and shut it down?"

Scar eyed him and then the Robot that was currently wobbling around in the field like it was one of his foster daughter's weeble-wooble toys. Either the robot had equilibrium issues due to some magnetic malfunction or the idiot inside of it was drunk. Either way it wasn't his problem. " _Fuck you._ "

Riza shut her eyes and shook her head. Havoc was  _so right_ , she had to be careful what she asked for. "Dr. Mustang, Scar handles abominations of the Chimera variety not..."

"Scrappy." Havoc finished her sentence. He watched Mustang twitch as he said it and realized he might have just spurred that horse a little too hard.

"Looks like another one of your sanctioned projects running loose with little regard for life or nature." Scar held Mustang's gaze. "Looks like you've come down from the mountain to play God again."

"Here we go." Havoc mumbled. This was going straight for the heart of the matter, Scar's brother. Usually they just danced around the edges as Scar grumbled about using animals for testing chimera research, but that was  _them_. Him and Riza. They had more tact and less ego than Mustang. They also weren't the ones who made the call to end Scar's brother.

Roy puffed up, forgetting about the giant robot as Scar's long standing resentment distracted him. "I'm sorry your brother got killed trying to bring back his dead girlfriend but the chain reaction he set off in his lab put AI, and Eureka, at risk for a complete meltdown. Sorry I saved people's lives."

"We were working on reversing it." Scar growled. "Then you ordered Kimblee to leach his power into the containment chamber."

"The system was overloaded and in the  _red._ " Roy spat. "You ran out of time and it was the only way I had to shut it down!"

"Which he gleefully did!" Scar hissed. "Turning my brother into energy in the containment vat!"

"Your brother was thinking with his dick which is exactly why he lost it!" Roy screamed. "You were thinking with your heart and that's why you lost the ability to weigh in on the matter."

"His motivations are not in question here, it's yours!"

"Why because I chose Kimblee's idea over yours!?" Roy scoffed. "You wanted to energize our sewer system with your brother's amplified energy!"

"Why is Scrappy _so slow_?" Havoc mumbled. "We could be dead by now instead of listening to this."

"Roy..." Riza began to say something but Scar was in full rage mode now. So she watched the robot stumble and wished she could take control of it somehow. Even if it was just to blow up the hill they were on and, with it, the proverbial hill these two were going to die on.

"It would have dispersed his power into the environment!" Scar countered. "The Sewer system is set up to filter and break down  _biological_  waste, it would have done the same because our energy is biological! You didn't even read my proposal, you just called in that lunatic and had him feed his 'nuclear medicine' into my brother so he could detonate him from the inside out!"

"I did read your fucking proposal and didn't want to risk having that much energy coursing through the tunnels under town! I made a decision based on people's lives!"

"You sure as hell didn't use your brain either as my proposal was basic thermodynamics." Scar snapped.

Roy laughed. "Which is why I didn't need to spend that much time reading it to see the flaws!"

"The second law of thermodynamics  _is flawed_? Scar retorted. "I can't believe your ego even fits in that building, more or less Eureka."

"You wanted to disperse energy from an already overloaded system into an entirely unprepared environment in hopes that it would assist in the decay. That's not how entropy works! That's how scientists bullshit me in order to buy more time to save their dickless bother who triggered a catastrophic failure of our electrical system!"

As if on cure the ground shook as Scrappy finally figured out directional controls and started stomping towards the sound of screaming on the ridge. Havoc took the opportunity to light the cigarette and marvel at the repercussions of a genius's lack of situational awareness. "Come on Scrappy, you got this dude. One foot in front of the other like a big boy."

"His research was sound!" Scar defended the work his brother was doing. He always had to.

Roy pulled out his phone, quickly pulled up a document and held it up for Scar to see. "I read the research all right!. I read it and couldn't help but see it show up again in projects now that it's public domain in AI's archives. Who, do ask, utilizes it? Guess!"

"Roy, for fucks sake." Riza considered firing on the robot now to cover up what was coming out of Roy's mouth, but it was too far out of range.

"Public domain in Eureka's archives?" Scar said in shock. "It would be safer to put it on the internet!"

"No guesses? Fine!" Roy said and then pointed the phone at Scar. " Bradley! For homunculi! And Dalt Daimler who tried to fuse his dying wife to a chimera after she was maimed in a lab accident. Two people trying to play God!"

"You put our research in the library for everyone to use?" Scar asked appalled.

"Your  _brother's_  research!" Roy countered. "You're just a veterinarian! Which is why I wasn't going to use your proposal because you have no practical knowledge on how to handle a massive energy surge of that caliber!"

"I'll use  _this_  massive energy surge on something I do comprehend," Scar screamed, raised his hand and launched himself at Roy. "Castration!"

Riza heard Havoc laugh out a 'change Mustang's status form to gelding' before she took her eyes off the Robot coming to kill them. She took two steps to knock Roy's feet out from under him before pointing her gun at Scar. "Enough. Both of you."

Scar stepped back and focused on the gun, then the robot. Sarcastically he said, "It's a shame that I know  _nothing_  about my brother's research or thermodynamics because leeching the power out of those exposed generators would come in handy right now."

"Then why don't you sever the electrical controls from the human controlling it?" Roy spat, trying to look casual , and menacing, while lying on the ground in a three piece suit while straddled by his wife holding a massive gun of his own creation. "Or do you just use those hands to pet cats and fondle the homuculus made with your brother's research?"

"Why don't you prove you can use your knowledge for something useful instead of being an administrator and government ass-kisser?" Scar countered. "You morally corrupt asshole with a god complex!"

Roy narrowed his eyes at him and licked his lips and tried to formulate a comeback. However he was right. This was something he could lend his expertise to. So he turned his head and looked at the robot, _really_  looked at it past it's appalling aesthetic and misuse of funding, and noted that the tanks on it's back where the power would be coming from. "Sever the lines coming off the tanks, that will take the system out of equilibrium and it will power down."

"Do we want that being released into the air?" Riza asked and realized Roy was just laying under her, now fixated on Scrappy.

"We have the Tringham trees out there to filter everything out of the air and soil." Roy said and shot a look at Scar. "The energy cannot be destroyed, it can only be changed. So to power it down without shutting down the robot, we have to release the energy to somewhere we can repurpose it. The trees provide an environmental version of our sewer and water treatment system."

Scar snorted. "What a novel concept."

"Which works on this scale but  _not_  on a nuclear blast scale." Roy clarified for Scar. "It will be fine, that piece of junk can't overload the system. It's barely has enough power to function because it can't walk and use the grapple hands at the same time."

Riza stepped off Roy and left him to lay there in the grass looking like he was posing for the next Undercover Eureka Calendar. "What setting do you want us to use so we don't trigger a reaction larger than anticipated?"

"Bullets?" Roy said and they both moaned as the opportunity to use the 'big guns' vanished.

"Deputy, you take the left and I'll take the right." Riza said as they went back to the truck to exchange their favorite weapons for the mundane rifles.

"I just cleaned these." Jean lamented.

Scar didn't move and neither did Mustang. "I want my brother's research either redacted or re-classified."

"He signed the same paperwork we all did." Roy said. "Any research done while in the confines of Eureka is property of Alkahest Industries."

"His blood is on that, and now on your hands, for using his failure to further the advancement of these questionable fields that defy nature and God." Scar spat and turned around to leave.

"Science is about pushing boundaries. His failure was the direct result of his focus on a result not the process to get him that result." Roy said. "He was a scientist and he understood that. He would want to see others succeed where he failed. "

Riza got back just in time to save Roy from saying something he shouldn't, like mentioning again how Scar was married to the woman Scar's brother created. "Ready Havoc?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Fire!"

Roy watched Scar disappear and sat up. He turned to watch the robot blow steam from the lines supplying it's power and crash to the ground. It was probably a solution Riza would have come up with by herself, she really didn't need him out here for this. When she came back over to him he could feel her anger.

"You're an idiot." She said. "Share information didn't mean send me the damned plans for the giant robot and drag a guy who absolutely hates you out here for a conversation that they heard outside Eureka's protective field."

"I just wanted him to interrupt the electrical..."

"Save it." She snapped. "We had this handled."

"Then why did you text me?"

"To warn you not to bring your group of important people out here." Riza looked over to his car. "Which begs the question, where are they?"

"Don't worry about them." Roy said and stood up, brushing grass off his suit. "Can you take Hildebrand to AI so I can fire him and Havoc can escort him out of town before they get out of their...presentation?"

"You left them with Armstrong?" Riza asked, who else would be 'presenting' something. She eyed Roy, he wasn't telling her something. "Nevermind, I don't want to know. We've got this covered, thank you for you help."

Roy winced as she turned around and went back over to Havoc. That could have been handled better. He went back to his car and heard a text from Falman, he glanced down to see all the paperwork he requested was ready. He texted back to pull all active chimera projects and send them to him. That was for later, for now he needed to hurry up his official removal of Hildebrand from Eureka and get back to his guests who were probably eager for a topic not as heavy as nuclear physics. On his drive back to work he could figure out a way to apologize to Riza, or maybe he could just explain everything to her over dinner like he said he would.

Havoc watched Roy drive away like he was either blind or texting, but knew it was just his shitty driving. "So what was all  _that_  about?"

"The Scar thing?" Riza shook her head. "No idea, but he doesn't instigate shit like that unless he's planning something."

"What the hell does he need a veterinarian for?" Jean asked and crushed out his cigarette.

"Anything really. Vets are a very under appreciative, highly diverse doctor. They handle everything from basic surgery to radiology while treating many species. He's a jack-of-all-trades as far as the medical field goes." Riza sighed. "In this instance, I hope he's just asking his advice on that puppy he has been dying to get."

"Hoping for the puppy."

"He wants to get a Shiba Inu." She said and shook her head. "Probably the worst dog breed he could possibly pick."

"Aren't they notorious for being smart little shits who do whatever they want?" Havoc laughed as her look told him 'yes'. "That's exactly what you need, a dog version of scientists in this town."

"Yeah." Riza looked down at the robot and sighed. "So let's go get our latest bad scientist so I can haul him in to get fired."

* * *

 **AN** : Dalt Daimler is from the GBA game Sonata of Memories. Was going to use his son, but I'm not including a dude named Lute Zaxophone and expecting him to be taken seriously.


	5. Not all Rainbows and Unicorns

 

 

_Eureka_

Chapter 5

**Not all Rainbows and Unicorns**

* * *

Roy was thinking over everything as he drove; from his funding hanging precariously over a diorama of the country being obliterated by nuclear war to the look on Riza's face when he realized she really didn't want him interfering with her work. So, when a massive lion chimera with scaled body and a snake tail barreled into his car and sent him flying towards the ditch, he wondered if he was going to have a chance to explain his tactics. The impact of his car slamming into the ditch and the airbags smacking him in the face, he acknowledged, were punishment long overdue for his antics.

The chimera itself had been created to withstand a lot of abuse. It was a creature created for war,  _what_  war nobody in Eureka could really say. So, despite slamming into a moving vehicle, it was still able to get up and flee the scene before the predator it was running from caught up with it. It glanced back at the car and swished it's rattlesnake tail, purred a polite apologetic "Meoooow" before it bounded away, relatively unharmed.

'Me  _ow_ ' was an understatement, Roy mused as he wrestled against the safety features in the car to free himself.

The predator the chimera feared materialized out of the trees lining the roadway and narrowed his eyes at the expensive black sedan in the ditch. Steam was escaping from a cracked radiator and he ground his teeth thinking about the amount of anti-freeze being leaked into the soil. Annoyed that he was going to have to abandon his hunt, he walked over to the car knowing who's ass he was going to be saving and pulled out a knife to help cut the idiot out of his car.

Roy looked up as the sun faded from his peripherals and noted that someone, or something, was blocking the window. His phone had been thrown across the car and out of reach, so there was going to be no calling for assistance until he broke free of the airbags and seat belt. Then the driver's side door opened and he looked up at his savior who happened to be brandishing a huge knife. "Scar?"

Scar poked the airbag and watched it deflate, then stood up and put his knife away. "Chimeras,  _fucking sweet,_  right?"

Roy groaned, unbuckled himself and reached for his phone before crawling out of his car. He stretched and assessed his condition, determining himself to be just fine. "Despite what you think, I don't actually believe chimera are a worthwhile investment of funds."

"Then why are half your scientists making them?"

" _Someone_  in the military thinks they're essential to our future as an advanced civilization." Roy said with a roll of his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck. He really hoped he could meet that mysterious someone one day and find out what high fantasy hell they were preparing for.

Scar wasn't expecting Mustang to be honest about that. Perhaps he did suffer some trauma in the crash. "Well, I've got to go catch Fluffy unless you want to tell me why you really called me out to the testing field."

Scar was precept, that was never in question. "Chimera, actually. I doubt Hildebrand is the only scientist thinking they should try to impress our guests while they are in town. Considering the obsession our Army has with chimera, I'm sure we have a few people thinking this is their opportunity to ensure it's their prototype chosen for the 'Chimera Division'."

"Fan-fucking-tastic." Scar mumbled.

Roy sent a text to Riza, asking if she could pick him up on the way back to AI. Then he looked at the files Falman sent him and rattled off the names. "Daimler, Herschel, Lincor...Tucker."

Scar grumbled. There was no need to mention  _his_  name.

Roy suddenly made a connection. "You know, that's not the first time I've heard that I was a 'morally corrupt asshole with a god complex'. I believe that last time that was fired off at me was from the mouth of Edward Elric."

"The Elric boys visit Nina often." Scar said and lifted his chin. His foster daughter was none of Mustang's business. Especially since he protected Tucker by keeping him locked up in the confines of Level 5 in AI's basement so he could continue working on his atrocities. "If that's all you wanted to communicate, then I'll go back to work."

He saw his eyes narrow when he said ' _anything'_  and Roy stood up a little taller and tried to look like he was not at all out of his element on a country back road, wearing a three piece suit covered in grass, dirt, glass fragments and airbag particles. "My intention was to ask for your assistance with the robot and inform you of potential chimera activity. I was not looking for a fight, not today."

"Some other time then."

Roy watched him take off, surprisingly graceful and quick for a man wearing flip flops. Hopefully Scar could keep any more chimera incidents to a minimum, his intimidation level was enough to make most scientists consider their actions. Of course, he seemed immune to that.

* * *

"So why did Roy send you Scrappy's instruction manual?" Havoc asked as they finished packing up and the Alkahest Industries recovery unit informed them that they were on their way to collect the robot.

Riza had been thinking about that too. All Roy's actions were calculated, even if he seemed to forget that not everyone liked him or could be manipulated into doing his bidding. "I assume he wants me to look it over. I don't know when he thinks I'll have the time to read someone's research notes."

"Probably when you get back to the office and have to write up an incident report." Havoc said. "He probably expects you to work your magic by labeling it something harmless like you did with the Tringham's Pot StormCloud; 'Basement based agriculture' sounds like something they're going to use in the space station, massive cloud formation of medicinal marijuana, 'Project: 420 Raise It', not stuff that sounds super scientific."

"One time he complained about how academic papers are all a 'bunch of technical bullshit terms strung together that aren't intended to make sense'. He said researchers love to cover their asses by making their paperwork read like gibberish, because nobody could counter an argument if nobody could comprehend it. So I helped him with the one he was reviewing." She said and Havoc looked over at her, eager to hear how. The two of them were not geniuses on the level that the other residents of Eureka were, but they brought a lot of common sense and logic to the table. "I ran it through Google translate, turned the entire paper into another language and then translated it back. The new version was a bunch of almost poetic nonsense and Roy laughed his way though it. Then he sent it to the offending author and told him it was an article that had to be peer reviewed prior to publication from the scientist's colleague."

"That's brilliant." Jean snorted. "Did the guy recognize it?"

"No." She said and then shrugged as she thought about the robot specs. "I don't know what he wants out of this."

"Well, maybe he's just sharing." Jean said and lit another cigarette.

"That's what I thought originally, but I doubt it." Riza looked down at her phone as a text alert went off. "He needs me to pick him up."

"He crashed his car." Havoc said matter-of-factually and laughed. "I bet you a carton of cigarettes the genius crashed his car on an empty road."

"What is with him today?"

"Listen, back on the farm when our studs started getting aggressive and stupid about doing their jobs..." Havoc made a scissor motion with his fingers. "Just saying, Scar probably doesn't offer to fondle a guys balls without good reason. Especially not your husband's."

"I wish he could respect Scar for the accomplished doctor he is." Riza shook her head. "Just like Dr. Knox, I can't believe either one of them is 'just an  _ordinary_  doctor' to everyone."

"Gotta love Eureka."

* * *

Roy looked up as Riza arrived with Hildebrand in the back seat. Havoc was following behind her in his truck. As soon as Riza got out of the patrol car he said, "A chimera hit me."

"So where's the chimera?" Riza asked.

Havoc went over to Roy's car to determine how he was going to pull it out of the ditch. "Is it camouflaged really well or is it invisible?"

"It ran off." Roy said, seeing that smile that declared Havoc didn't believe him in the least.

"Were you driving down the middle of the road like you usually do?" Havoc asked.

"It ran out of the woods and hit my car." Roy snapped. Havoc was always the one giving him traffic tickets, a hard time and that amused smirk when things happened. "It hit me!"

"You're the biggest disaster in Eureka, you know that?" Havoc said. "You might have a million doctorates and a Nobel prize, but I seriously doubt you have a valid drivers license."

"You look at it all the time." Roy hissed.

"Hoping that I'll finally see some indication it was made by some one up at AI or by the DoD as a favor." Jean countered.

"Roy, just get in the car." Riza opened up the passenger side door for him. "Jean, can you call a tow truck and get this anti-freeze spill cleaned up? Then meet me at AI so you can take custody of Hildebrand and drive him out of town. I'll see to his living stipend and give you an address of a hotel in the city for him."

"Sure thing Chief. Don't worry about it, you just load up your Mustang and do what you need to do." Jean said with a wave and Roy turned and gave him a dirty look. "That unruly steed needs to be broke to  _drive_  not just ride."

"The chimera  _hit me_!"

Riza gave him a shake of the head and shoved Roy in the car. "Roy, even you have to admit the probability of something hitting  _you_  when you drive like you do is extraordinarily high."

"Statistically," Hildebrand said from the back seat. "She's right."

"Statistically, it's going to be next to impossible for you to not be tried for fraud by the government, so shut up." Roy spat as the door closed. He wanted to start grilling Hildebrand but he thought better of it considering how unprofessional he looked. He wasn't going to interrogate or fire someone while looking like he had been rolling around in the field and ditches all afternoon. Let Hildebrand stew in the back seat, that would have him ripe for the picking by the time they got back to the office and ready to move forward with his removal from Eureka.

* * *

The four government officials were met at every turn with something they stared at in awe before remembering how scared they should be of this scientist having so much power in his hands. Now they found themselves speechless because Kimblee had just regurgitated a little red rock and set it down on a Petri dish like it was a precious gem.

"The philosopher's stone, gentleman."

They looked to Kimblee, then to the saliva and bile covered stone. There wasn't a single one of them who wished to get closer to it or pick it up, even if it was set out on display for them. They understood now, that that was the scientist's intention.

"It's named after the most sought after prize in Alchemy of yesteryear, a substance of such power it could create gold from non precious metals or grant immortality."

Gardner was the first to ask, "Does it?"

"It could." Kimblee mused. "Right now it's simply a power source, a very concentrated power source. Applications have not yet been determined as it's still a very guarded project."

Raven was the first one to get a glint in his eyes, "It's not yours?"

"It's Dr. Tim Marcoh's creation. He's cautious and protective of it. There is another scientist here who has a similar project and that's Dr. Wilhelm Eiselstein. His is called 'The Philosopher's catalyst' but he's more hung up on the theoretical, he focuses on efficiency to produce something to experiment with. I believe he's working in conjunction with the Chimera group so they can fuse their designer pets and have them functional." Kimblee answered. Raven didn't need this spelled out for him, he immediately appreciated the unprecedented destructive abilities his weapons could have with something like this.

"I gather," Hakuro said cautiously, "He didn't give this to you willingly."

"I borrowed it." Kimblee said with a grin then his smile vanished and he looked at them with all seriousness. "Forgive me if I don't find it worthwhile to waste technology such as this making chimera or mannequin soldiers. Perhaps you gentlemen would like to explain  _that shit_ to me?"

The men stayed silent and Hakuro cleared his throat. "Alternatives to sending men into battle. We want to save lives."

"They aren't making _fucking unicorns_ , they're making alligator-gorilla hybrids." Kimblee rolled his eyes. "The Mannequin soldiers have mouths and assholes but don't actually eat? Please, spare me your bullshit, and consider what I would deliver with that same level of funding."

The room was silent and the men all tried to not look uncomfortable but failed.

Kimblee realized they were all ready to bolt to the door so he picked up his precious stone, tossed it back into his mouth and swallowed. Then he licked his lips and folded his hands. "Unlike the rest of the scientists who occupy this facility, I don't hinge my work on the prospect of changing the world. Doing so would destroy the profitable industries who undoubtedly line your pockets. My nuclear reactor would eliminate the need for the coal industry. My nuclear medicine would cure cancer and destroy the multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical industry revolving around treating it. My nuclear weapons would just destroy, eliminating the need for any of it. That would be an economic blunder, especially in the eyes of the lobbyists you cater to who work so hard to maintain status quo. The good thing is that almost everything we have achieved at Alkahest Industries is so technologically advanced that nobody would believe it is ready to be implemented. It is purely the promise of a better future that keeps voters happy. Then again, everything being contained within the protective boundaries of Eureka offers protection both ways; to keep it safe and keep the public unaware, and you gentleman safe from scrutiny."

Raven narrowed his eyes at the man, a threatening glare to remind him that he had no ground to stand on if he continued down this road of implied blackmail. He knew this was why Mustang dropped them off here on his tour, Kimblee had nothing to lose or gain. He had to know he'd try this, threats from this man in the white lab coat were also a little more unsettling than the clever manipulations of a administrator in an expensive three piece suit. "We may have an upcoming campaign in the desert that will require some  _unique_  weapons."

Kimblee cocked an eyebrow. He wasn't expecting Raven to cave, he figured he was going to threaten to put him back in prison. "Do tell."

* * *

Riza leaned against the wall in Roy's office as Hildebrand started crying. Roy had verbally eviscerated him while he laid out the documents that proved his fraud and ineptitude. Falman stood beside his boss, handing him documents when asked, but otherwise remained silent. Riza looked at the clock on the wall and determined that the distinguished guests had been in Kimblee's care way too long, so she took a step forward and silently interjected herself into the situation.

Roy glanced over at her as Hildebrand grabbed the box of tissues off his desk and continued to cry and blow snot into handfuls of Kleenex. Her look said, 'That's enough' and then she looked over at the clock and relayed the unsettling feeling she had about Kimblee being in possession of the important visitors too long. He didn't help matters by insisting he had to change into clean clothes when they finally got back to his office. "Anything to say on your behalf, Dr. Hildebrand?"

He shook his head.

Riza reached over to grab the redaction papers. It was the simplest of the paperwork they had to complete in any official capacity here in Eureka. It stated a breech of contract which was the cause of termination and that all research and accomplishments achieved while in the employ of Alkahest Industries would remain property of the company. It was harsh, but it was considered equivalent exchange for the wealth of knowledge and materials offered to each scientist: something that allowed them to make the advancements they did. "If you would please look over and sign this document, Doctor, we can conclude this exit interview and escort you out of town."

"My...things?"

Riza took over the conversation as this was part of her job, not Roy's. "A moving company will pack up your personal belongings and place them in storage for you. Deputy Havoc will escort you to a local city, where arrangements have been made for food and lodging for up to one month. You understand you will be under surveillance at that time? You will also be on AI's radar for the rest of your life in case you choose to use your classified research from Eureka for personal advancement?"

Roy huffed. Hildebrand's research wasn't worth shit. What was he going to do? Sell it to Lego or the local arcade?

Riza ignored her husband. She knew what every little sound he made meant and she was already wanting to smack him for being such an ass today. A month away from Eureka made him forget that this was how the town operated, experimentation often resulted in failure. He believed that fear was a deterrent that stifled ingenuity. He believed that boundaries needed to be pushed to further science, so what the hell happened to him all month? That was a discussion for later. "Dr. Hildebrand, your knowledge in your field was enough to earn you employment at Alkahest Industries, unfortunately you will have to start from scratch. Dr. Mustang will  _not_ be able to give any of your future employers any information about your time or work here other than your dates of hire and termination. Everything in that regard is confidential."

Roy bit his lip. That was a reminder to him and he huffed again, this time in acknowledgment of defeat. "Your case of defrauding the government however will be turned over to the DoD for investigation."

"I bought model robots." Hildebrand choked out. "I imported them, The proxy services are so expensive and shipping awful if you want insurance and tracking."

Roy deflated. This was what the guy did with his funding? Bought toys?

"Being a collector is a very expensive hobby." Hildebrand admitted. "I needed funds to buy someone's entire collection. Rare and special runs. Prototypes that never made it to production. Original, mint condition, models."

"Then why the fuck couldn't you come up with a better design?" Roy demanded. Surely if he spent a fortune buying these things he had to grow some appreciation for engineering?

"Copyright infringement." Hildebrand admitted. "Any collector or enthusiast of any worth would have spotted the similarities immediately. I'm not that kind of hack."

Roy was finally shocked into silence. It was actually a not-so-bad explanation in a way. Patent lawsuits were always such a hassle and people patented  _everything_  these days to capitalize on something. It stymied inventions and innovations more than lack of funding.

"So... the movers are going to find your house full of these toys, aren't they?" Riza asked.

Hildebrand started crying harder realizing he was going to lose what was most precious to him.

"In that case, I believe we'll be confiscating the collection and turning that over to the DoD for them to do what they want to with it." Roy said and Hildebrand wailed and sobbed and dropped the nasty, snot soaked tissue onto his floor. "Your personal items will be in storage. Work it out with them. Please sign this so I can go back to work trying to save this place for people who want to do actual science here."

"My robot..." Hildebrand said. "It will work, it was just rushed."

"Yeah, I know." Roy said and pushed the paperwork towards him. He didn't want to pressure any of these people into showing their projects to the Generals and politicians. That was the point of today's party. Hildebrand went out of his way to try and grab the spotlight, which was why he got no sympathy from him. "Rush your signature on this, please."

Riza watched him sign. She signed as a witness and Roy added his signature as well. Then Falman picked them up to file and make copies. "If you're ready Doctor, it's time to go."

Roy stood and left, eager to be done with the situation and get back to his visitors. He fixed his cuffs, straightened his jacket and made his way down the hall, across the foyer and over to the elevator. He was shocked when the doors opened and revealed his visitors. "Tour over so soon?"

"We've seen some promising ideas." Raven said and as they stepped out of the car and into the atrium. "I would like to schedule a visit in two months to actually see some working technology. I'm told by Dr. Kimblee that there is a project called the "Ultimate Eye" that will turn soldiers into super soldiers."

That was not exactly a working project yet but he definitely was happy Raven wasn't asking for nukes. "Two months? I take it you've all unanimously decided to sign off on our budget since that would be in a new fiscal year."

"You got your funding, Mustang. For now." Congressmen Gardner said.

Senator Klemin added, "We hope when election time comes around you remember us. Perhaps an endorsement from a Noble prize winner like yourself would get us the backing of some of the scientific community."

There was no chance of that, but Roy grinned and said, "I would be glad to."

"So, how do we get back home?" Hakuro asked with a smile. "I have some family obligations this weekend that I can't miss."

"I'll ask our Sheriff drive you back to the airport." Roy said and gave them a smile. In a matter of just a minute he not only sold his soul for a political blessing but also intruded once again on Riza's territory. He had to act fast and stop Hildebrand's escort out of town; he couldn't have the Sheriff and Deputy gone as it would leave Eureka without any law enforcement presence. These men would not accept anything but the Sheriff driving them like a chauffeur, either. "Excuse me one second while I get her keys to a company car."

Riza was walking behind Hildebrand as he clutched his box of tissues and was escorted to the door. Havoc was waiting outside and was eager to get the man delivered and off his hands so he didn't miss dinner. She was not expecting Roy to rush up with an exasperated look on his face. "What's wrong now?"

"Nothing. Can I perhaps delay the Doctor's departure for a day?"

"You could barely wait to get him out of Eureka, now you want to wait?" Riza asked. She kept her hand on Hildebrand's shoulder and squeezed to tell him there would be no taking advantage of the situation.

"Take him to medical bay for a check up." Roy threw out an idea, then he leaned in close to her and whispered. "I need  _you_  to drive the budget committee to the airport."

"What part of 'you don't order me around' did you not understand from this morning's conversation?"

"Please, I didn't mean it like that." Roy said and wished Hildebrand wasn't standing in earshot and he wasn't standing in the lobby to have this conversation. "I don't trust them to anyone else. I also need to find out what Kimblee promised them so _I can't go_."

Riza frowned. This was not only about getting rid of those four, but also finding out what damage had been done by leaving them in Kimblee's care so long. He was asking her to be part of his scheme, eavesdropping in on conversations of the budget committee to ensure that there weren't more issues looming. She pulled out her phone and called Havoc who was quick to answer. "Change of plans."

" _Dr. Roboto's not leaving?"_

"No. He's going to the infirmary to be checked over from his earlier accident." Riza said dryly and Hildebrand sniffled. "I'm escorting the men from the capital back to the airport."

Roy watched Havoc come through the front doors and Riza put her phone away. They were quite the team and he hoped one day he could get to be that way with her. Havoc took possession of the scientist and gave her a smile, then walked towards the infirmary. "Riza..."

"Havoc is going to make a ton of horse jokes about gaining respect from my Mustang using groundwork and I'm going to start listening to his advice." She said and put her hands on her hips. "No, you have been a complete  _ass_  today, maybe I should ask him about training donkeys."

"Changes aren't made in a few hours, I plan on working on it." He said and started walking over to security desk where he could sign out a car and get her keys to an SUV. "Today was not exactly the best day to make a new years resolution."

"You're lucky I want them out of town as much as you do."

"I hope you still want me as much as I want you." He replied and gave her a sincere look of apology. "I want to be partners in this as much as you want to be."

"Did you get your funding?"

"Yes." Roy said and handed her the keys he was after. "Do I still have my wife?"

"We need to work on your people skills but I can't disagree with strict discipline when things go wrong. " She replied and took the keys, his hand wrapping around hers as he passed them to her. "I'm not giving up on us Roy, this was all work related and I can separate the two."

"I asked Scar to look into the chimera projects, so being hit by a loose chimera on your way out of town will be one less concern." Roy informed her of his real reason for including Scar earlier. That should help ease some animosity.

"It would be less of a concern if your chimera scientist stopped releasing them into the woods." She said and knew that was an argument for later. "I'll see you tonight."

"Call me when you're an hour out. I'll make dinner."

"Call your insurance company." She instructed. "Havoc had the robot and your car towed back on the same truck. You might want to deal with that after we leave. You might also want to get yourself checked out in the infirmary because you're  _not_  a medical doctor and should not be diagnosing yourself."

"Will do." He frowned as she pushed that hot-button again about the  _medical_  doctorate. He watched as she went over to the officials who looked eager to end their stay in Eureka and head home. She would remind them of the DoD disclosure agreement they all signed and answer questions Raven surely would ask. For now, it was about cleaning up the mess here and paying Kimblee a visit to see what the hell this was going to cost him.

* * *

 **AN:**  Dalt Daimler is from GBA Sonata of Memories. Hershel from Sacred Star of Milos. Lincor from GBA Stray Rondo. Wilhelm Eiselstein from the PS2 game Fullmetal Alchemist and the Broken Angel. It would be easier to footnote this fic as I pull all these references from the past out, but formatting barely works anyway.

Thank you for reading and reviewing. I guess I just set myself up for another chapter before I can get back on track with the story I started with.


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